Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Haha, bad night?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize

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(757): View more from Virginia

i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward

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(334): View more from Alabama

He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.

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(845): View more from New York

Just got motor boated by a horse in the street

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(253): View more from Washington

I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.

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(239): View more from Florida

You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill

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