Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops

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  (907): the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops http://tfl.nu/07bg
  Replies (45) Good night (10552) Bad night (997)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.

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  (412): I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra. http://tfl.nu/7xhn
  Replies (52) Good night (9756) Bad night (1284)
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  (619): View more from California

  I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.

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  (619): I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me. http://tfl.nu/zz8y
  Replies (3) Good night (753) Bad night (2607)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.

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  (646): Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans. http://tfl.nu/r33v
  Replies (5) Good night (1204) Bad night (885)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.

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  (484): We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us. http://tfl.nu/883t
  Replies (4) Good night (1797) Bad night (575)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.

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  (847): He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited. http://tfl.nu/2tlf
  Replies (20) Good night (6828) Bad night (847)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?

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  (757): Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness? http://tfl.nu/5dab
  Replies (24) Good night (1570) Bad night (472)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts

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  (910): I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts http://tfl.nu/bmph
  Replies (14) Good night (1230) Bad night (601)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.

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  (956): I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her. http://tfl.nu/jxh9
  Replies (5) Good night (1177) Bad night (386)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits

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  (778): can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits http://tfl.nu/njr0
  Replies (4) Good night (343) Bad night (940)
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  (714): View more from California

  I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit

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  (714): I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit http://tfl.nu/55p1
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (295)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.

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  (561): You know I love you. I just don't love your penis. http://tfl.nu/4w11
  Replies (6) Good night (367) Bad night (1142)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I

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  (214): This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I http://tfl.nu/v4qv
  Replies (7) Good night (407) Bad night (225)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.

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  (203): Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork. http://tfl.nu/n6pn
  Replies (2) Good night (488) Bad night (237)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night

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  (678): I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night http://tfl.nu/4dps
  Replies (1) Good night (428) Bad night (262)

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