You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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