Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?

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  (248): I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob? http://tfl.nu/efyh
  Replies (44) Good night (806) Bad night (3432)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.

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  (907): You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink. http://tfl.nu/mebb
  Replies (29) Good night (4361) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.

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  (785): this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila. http://tfl.nu/7xsl
  Replies (3) Good night (1349) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room

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  (610): About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room http://tfl.nu/tujl
  Replies (9) Good night (1931) Bad night (1165)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?

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  (214): Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece? http://tfl.nu/qvgx
  Replies (9) Good night (1465) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.

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  (337): Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird. http://tfl.nu/9vhr
  Replies (12) Good night (2335) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week

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  (716): Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week http://tfl.nu/sqfo
  Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!

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  (570): Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week! http://tfl.nu/bw5p
  Replies (11) Good night (2105) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!

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  (918): It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore! http://tfl.nu/18ia
  Replies (2) Good night (1242) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Get you some cowboy.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.

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  (832): Get you some cowboy. (832): In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself. http://tfl.nu/cgrb
  Replies (6) Good night (979) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face

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  (571): I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face http://tfl.nu/0ur8
  Replies (3) Good night (766) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?

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  (570): I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/4cua
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Woke up backwards on a recliner

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  (314): Woke up backwards on a recliner http://tfl.nu/fx1p
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.

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  (514): I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/4ifb
  Replies (9) Good night (512) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks

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  (870): she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks http://tfl.nu/glna
  Replies (0) Good night (223) Bad night (875)

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