I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
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hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
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also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.