help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?