i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
