ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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