Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
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