At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
