Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
