Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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