no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
