Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
