Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize
