Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
