He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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