GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
God, I missed his penis.
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