i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sober January is a disaster.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
