These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
