If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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