Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
