sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Im part way to drunk.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
