they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
bring money and cleavage
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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