pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
