yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
