whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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