roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
