So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
