I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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