Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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