Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
operation have a gay friend backfired
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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