BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
