I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize