the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
