almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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