Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
My cat gives me a boner
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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