Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
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I need you to use more vowels.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Randomize
