It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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