problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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