So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
