I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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