Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
