Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
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you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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