What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
you had me at cake vodka
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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