Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
