Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
