why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
