We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
