make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
