I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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