people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
