Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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