Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize