Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
