Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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