If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
