And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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