I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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