So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
