I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
