Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
