Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize