Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
