Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
