So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
