Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
