fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
