i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
