I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
